Rejection: Hem and Haw
I didn’t make it into Seattle Pacific University.
(obligatory dramatic pause)…
I knew I’d hear soon, one way or the other, but wasn’t sure when, and the lack of mail the past few days had been driving me crazy. Until tonight.
Michelle called while I was still at Synergy, continuing work on that story I recently posted the beginnings of. She called and said:
“There’s something here from Seattle Pacific, do you want me to open it?”
Of course I did. Mom will attest to my tendency to leave acceptance letters and test scores and the like unopened for weeks because I couldn’t stand to read them.
I sat by as Michelle rustled with the envelope and said “wow, my heart’s pounding.”
And I wish I could write here with breathless glee that they wanted me and asked me to start in March. However, they said “no,” stating that they felt they could not recommend me for the program at this time. I kind of knew this was coming, and Michelle even said “you’re remarkably calm.”
Maybe so, and perhaps I was putting on a bit of brave-face. I don’t think I’ve processed it, yet, to be honest. What does this mean for my writing? Have I over estimated myself and my abilities? Should I apply to other programs?
For now, I take (slight) comfort from the fact that rejection is a taste of reality. After all, the literary world is rife with it, and this, my first time out, may not have turned up roses but it can only get better from here (I suppose).